WATCHING GOD MOVE FROM MY FRONT ROW SEAT IN PRISON
Here’s to God and Tamiko Grandison, I cannot thank you enough for the front row seat to watch this amazing miracle unfold. You are always the believer, and I was the doubter, but when God shows up it’s impossible to doubt anymore. To tell this story I must back up a bit…
I turned myself into the marshals and began my time on my prison sentence in 2017. During my year in federal holding awaiting sentencing, I found God, got saved, and worked hard praying through my past and working through trauma that only God could help me through. I was blessed to have a cool chaplain that worked at CCA. I shared a lot of my story with him, and he would bring books, kind words, and a lot of prayers to help me through each issue I was working through: Every time I summoned him for prayer, he would come.
I love food and when you are incarcerated in a high security facility your meals are sometimes the only thing you must look forward to. It did not take long into my journey as a Christian that I felt led to fast and I was shocked how powerful it was. I loved it so much it became a frequent practice. I started out just dipping my toe in to test the waters and began with just 12 hour fasts that would eventually blossom into 72 hours. I prayed for my loved ones, my case, and my incredibly uncertain future for myself and my daughter. Once (was sentenced, I left federal holding for prison in 2018 and I took my new found passion with me.
The journey from federal holding to prison sucked the life out of me. It consisted of multiple flights on Con air, a week in the Oklahoma transfer center, and a lengthy van ride I will never forget with people holding trash bags throwing up because they had not been in a moving vehicle for a long time, it was really something. Our group arrived at this prison camp way after the intended arrival time due to all the shenanigans on the road along with unscheduled bathroom stops. So, we were not cut loose and brought to the housing unit until after the 9 pm count that happens every night. I had no clue what to expect walking to the housing unit carrying this weird bed roll. I remember walking by a bench outside and thinking to myself, “that will do.” I just wanted to sleep.
When I walked in there was a group of ladies preparing for evening prayer time. It was comforting to see some of the ladies I already knew from federal holding. I was quickly whisked away to my assigned cube that was at the far end of the hall. I was greeted by the kindest Bunkie I could have possibly imagined. Tamiko had already gathered toiletries for me and helped me get settled. The entire alley was extremely kind and continued to come and drop off anything and everything I could possibly need.
It was late, but since Tamiko was from Kansas City and had taken the same journey I had just been on, she knew the value of a good shower especially after a week at the Oklahoma City Transfer center. She escorted me and all my new things to the shower. A private, amazing shower. It was the most memorable shower of my life with real shampoo and conditioner that smelled amazing, and real razors… I have no words.
The next morning my sweet friend woke me up and helped me get ready for breakfast and directed me to where I needed to meet the girls I came in with. When I got back, she was there and handed me a pair of running shoes so I could head out to the track like a free person. I wanted to cry… Let me explain why. In federal holding we could not buy shoes and the only thing we had were bright orange crocs. Now if you wore tennis shoes when you were taken into custody, they would let you keep them. I did not know this. I wore dress shoes to court, and they took them the minute I got to the institution. I bought every good pair of shoes I could find off other peoples feet. In fact, every new person that walked in the door, I looked at their shoes before I looked at their face, and my first question was, “what size are your shoes,” not, “what is your name.” The struggle was really something for someone that loves to work out. It became an obsession, so this act of kindness was a huge relief.
And do not forget, I had been locked in a high security facility for over a year, not able to go out when I wanted, so this new freedom was magical. Here was Tamiko blessing me with a pair of shoes so I could go and experience all these new freedoms, I didn’t even have to hustle, and I did not even have to ask, she just knew.
I did not stay in that room long because I am a sleepwalker, and a top bunk is a bad idea for someone like me. So, when a room opened across the hall, I went off. But I had already decided Tamiko would not be getting rid of me anytime soon. I loved how this lady moved, I was fascinated by her. She greeted everyone with a smile, always going above and beyond to make sure everyone had what they needed, but never getting into anyone’s business. She never spoke a negative word about anyone or anything and she was quiet until it was time for her to speak at church, that is when her spirit came alive and lit up the room. She was up before the sun rose every single day in her bible and dressed from head to boot. She refused to get comfortable here.
What most people did not know because she kept her personal business to herself, was this loving, peaceful creature had been so terribly wronged and sentenced to an unjust and cruel sentence. She had ZERO criminal history before her indictment but had gotten involved with the wrong man that happened to be involved in the drug trade. The same man that brought a considerable amount of drugs to store in her house for the police to find when they came for him. They tried to get her to sign an extremely unfair plea and she refused. They had her at the top of the indictment and had hemmed her up as a drug lord, when she was just the girlfriend of an unsavory character that was not man enough to take his weight.
She fought her case. Unfortunately, the federal government has the deck stacked against defendants and they penalize heavily when someone tries to exercise their constitutional right of a fair trial. Tamiko was given a 30-year sentence as a trial penalty. Let that sink in… 30 years is more than a lot of murderers get. 30 years is considered unfair for some extremely violent crimes. How is it ok in anyone’s brain, that 30 years should be a sentence for a drug offender that was not involved in the sale of the drugs? How can you give 3 decades to a woman that has never been in trouble? She made a mistake, she got involved with the wrong person that took advantage and truly put her and her family in harm’s way. She had a job and raised 2 children and was involved in the community. How do you put her at the top of her indictment only to give the people with a thick criminal history just a tiny fraction of that time?
This might sound crazy, but welcome to the wonderful world of the Department of Justice. She continued to appeal and fight her sentence for over 7 years. She fought with her head held high and a smile on her face, while praying and loving on people panicking over tiny sentences not knowing the mountain that she faced every day. She never spoke of her sentence. She would never accept it. She got a little relief of 5 years on her appeal but that was not acceptable. Once again 25 years compared to the main guy only getting a 10-year sentence.
How did the judge find that fair? How did we let the justice system get this far gone?
In the first year I came to prison the buzz about the first step act had turned into more of a roar and began to rattle the doors off the hinges. I try not to get wrapped up in what inmates have to say about legal issues. I was warned and learned quickly of people’s incompetence of the law and their inability to recognize it. I save my breath and my anxiety on these matters. So, I did what I had become accustomed to do, I went to God. I began fasting and praying for prison reform every Friday. It started out just me, but in a prison setting people are quick to notice that you are not eating. So, I began to share my cause, and it morphed into a much larger thing. Other inmates and I began to gather on Fridays at 3 pm to pray for the first step act. This fasting Fridays for prison reform had grown into a large group that had to meet in the middle of the compound. It was powerful and God moved in a big way, the first step act passed on a Friday…
That was in 2018 when the first step act passed. It is now 2021 and not a single person here has received any earned time credit for programming like the creators of the act boasted about. I believe this is happening because it was put back into the hands of the Bureau of Prisons who is in no way in the business of letting people go home.
They seem to not have any direction and no one holding them accountable for progress, and so time credits and benefits that are provided by the first step act lays dormant. With the prison system still bursting at the seams any changes in sentencing were not to be retroactive so it is hard to notice the act happened from an inmate’s perspective. It is like when Moses asked Pharaoh to let his people go… but no! He would not.
When we realized the First step act was more like a dog and pony show then something real, Tamiko and I and another friend got together to begin to pray again. At 3pm every Friday afternoon we would meet and pray for prison reform. Then the pandemic hit and we were confined to our units, we then had to meet in a mop closet, but the prayers were just as powerful and the next thing we knew the Cares act was born. The Cares act allowed people with a low recidivism rate score to go home after only serving 50% of their time, and some with sentences less than 18 months to leave after only 25%. A welcomed relief from the standard 85% that all federal inmates were required to serve. Tamiko and I watched as our 3rd headed out the door blessed with her freedom thanks to this new act, and it inspired us to continue. It was magical to watch all these people head out to home confinement that would never have been considered if it were not for Covid 19 raging on. With Tamiko’s excessive time, the Cares Act was a long way off from helping her, but she did not give up hope.
She has the nerve to pray bold prayers. The kind when answered you cannot explain it away into something ordinary. When her big bold prayers are answered they are undeniably by God’s grace. .
At the beginning of this year, I shared with her that I felt led to a season of fasting in addition to our prayers. She joined me in fasting and we began praying for there to be a passion sparked in the hearts of the lawmakers to truly reform prison and take it out of the hands of the BOP. We also prayed for guidance on her paperwork among many other things.
I remember starting to see articles about expanding compassionate releases to include relief for people with unfair, lengthy sentences and all I could think of was Tamiko. The article I read made my spirit move and I knew this was something she needed to pursue, but she already knew. She read it and had the same feeling. She wrote a letter to send out in hopes of getting a pro bono lawyer and a blessing of some serious relief.
It worked. Her counselor told her she had a legal call coming up and we thought it was another inmate’s attorney because Tamiko had expressed her interest in possibly retaining this man for counsel. But it was not that, it was the public defender that had received her letter, and she wanted to take her case pro bono. This lawyer believed she was sentenced unfairly and believed a compassionate release based on just that was in order. If you do not have the chills yet, hang on.
When you file a compassionate release, you are back in the mercy of the judge that sentenced you to begin with. That is, unless that judge had moved on to other things in life, and that is exactly what happened in Tamiko’s case. She was blessed with a judge that neither of us had heard of after we prayed for rearranging and revision of her situation.
We added Tuesdays and Sundays at 3 pm because we both felt led to as we began to feel the movement. We prayed for her judge and attorney by name and asked God for favor and to disarm the government. We prayed for wisdom for her attorney and to put a passion in this judge’s heart to make this wrong right.
When Tamiko received the motion her attorney filed, I read it and it took my breath. It was flawless. I read every motion I can get my hands on and due to this pandemic, I have seen a lot of motions for compassionate release, but I had never seen anything like this. We knew this was happening.
We continued to pray and believe, and I started to hear great things about her judge we had been praying for by name. A man I had never heard of before all this, started to look like just the judge my friend needed. People were telling me that if you were in Kansas city and you had a drug case, this was the judge you wanted. He wanted to give second chances and was less likely to give out harsh sentences. I quickly shared these encouraging reports with my friend.
The next time we prayed, she talked to God about being home for Easter, which was just a week away. In my head I was thinking, there would be no way since a rebuttal had just recently been filed. I have always joked that she is the believer and I am the doubter, but it’s not a joke, it’s real.
Good Friday came without a release but she remained full of hope and that day we prayed with fervency and thanked God with all our hearts because whatever transpired, we truly wanted God’s will. Easter Sunday 2021, we had an actual church service for the first time in over a year. We gathered with our housing unit in the chapel and had a beautiful church service led by Tamiko. She smiled and spoke words of encouragement and hope to a room full of ladies excited that we were getting to worship God once again. When she was done I hugged her with tears in my eyes and told her she truly had a gift. I watched people as they listened to her words and visibly sensed the peace she brought them. One by one, everyone kept thanking her. I think God decided we needed her here for this event. She really made the day special and we needed her light and all I could think of was how much I was going to miss her.
That Sunday we prayed at 3pm, then Tuesday we prayed at 3pm, and by Wednesday evening she came to get me and tell me that her son had emailed her and the lawyer had called. He thought she had won her case! What?!?! Let the madness begin…
She had just called her mom who had told her that her lawyer wanted her to call even though it was after hours. Unfortunately when we make calls in prison we have to wait 30 minutes after we hang up before making another call. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life and it wasn’t even my business.
Finally the time came and she was unable to get through to her lawyer because it was a recording. So she called her mom back and had her call the lawyer. As I stood there watching Tamiko she was quiet and calm listening to her mom lose her mind on the other end. She then said: calmly, “thank you mom, I will call you tomorrow.” I was dying, and she calmly said “I think I’m leaving.”
So the next morning she planned to call her lawyer at 8 am. I came back from work to be with her and pray with her. Again, she couldn’t get through but located right next to the phones was our counselors office and he was in. I barged right in dragging her behind me and gently explained she needed to use the phone, like right now. He quickly cut us off to let us know he had already been contacted and there was a release in the works!
Tamiko had served 7 years and though it seemed she had a lot more years left to serve she never let it get her down. She lifted up everyone’s hope all around her and it was a pleasure to do time with her. I learned so much from her and I feel blessed to meet her in this place. I can’t wait to see what she does with her precious freedom. This was such a huge blessing to get to witness the awesome power of God, who never leaves us or forsakes us, and when two or more come together… Well you know the rest,
And so that left me with big shoes to fill and a huge responsibility to pass this powerful practice on to bless others. That prayer closet was about so much more than us. We saw so many blessings come and God moved with our prayers and fasting. There were so many answered prayers and blessings from being obedient and faithful. It is so powerful when you get into agreement with someone and pray big bold prayers that kind of scare you.
Then came my first Friday without Tamiko and with my new ladies, although I know she was praying with us from home. It was my turn to be the believer and no longer the doubter. It was my turn to lift these gals up and show them how to pray boldly like she had shown me on so many occasions. Prayers that when answered can’t be denied that it was all God and His glory. Because when God shows up and shows out and brings it all together it is life changing and cannot be denied.
As for me, a month later, just like that, I was in quarantine waiting to leave for home confinement. The Cares Act set me free and instead of getting out in 2025, I’m home in 2021…
