Prison COVID-19 Week 3

With prisons and inmates out of sight and out of mind, I feel it is imperative to repeat myself and state once again that millions of inmates across this nation right now, have been, and are still experiencing cruel solitary confinement situations due to the pandemic. Due to staff shortages and trying to find a way to avoid an outbreak, inmates are confined to their tiny cells with a bed and a toilet for 22 to 23 hours a day now, and some are let out less than that. A shower every day is a privilege in some places. They are only allowed to come out in small groups to use the shower and the phone, and my understanding is that does not happen every day. At this camp, we are locked in but blessed with our free movement around the unit. The lack of fresh air and being able to go out in the sun is really wearing on some people. Here is my daily journal for the week of 4/15/20 to 4/21/20, week 3.

4/15/20 Wednesday Day 15

This has been an uneventful quiet day for us at this federal prison camp and honestly, we needed a day off from the madness we go through every day due to the corona pandemic. A day of quiet is welcomed.

The big group that is about to go to quarantine on Friday are getting ready to go through 14 days of hell in the quarantine with no contacting their families and they are visibly nervous but excited to go home when it is done.

4/16/20 Thursday Day 16

Today more people’s names were put on the board for the potential golden ticket. They went in to update their information and answer the standard questions:

1. Is your address correct?

2. Do you have a place to go if you leave now?

3. Do you have a way to get there?

I guess the standard procedure is to go in, answer these questions and then you wait. You wait for them to contact your local probation of where you are going, and they have to approve your home and who you will be living with. Somewhere in the mix the halfway house you would originally have to check in with or be going to also must sign off. However, this does not seem to be true for all areas, from what I am hearing. Then they get back to our case manager and then you are given a date. For some areas, it’s just a matter of hours or just a day. For other areas, people are still waiting. One lady from New York was on the first list when this whole thing started and is still waiting because they cannot get through to the probation office there. Others from the first list are also still waiting either on their probation office or a halfway house to sign off. There are enough people waiting for just a date that this group seems to be a bit leerier about getting excited, and rightfully so.

This roller coaster is so far from over.

4/17/20 Friday Day 17

Today there is a big group of around 30 ladies that will head into the newly designated quarantine area of 100 alley. They will be in there for 14 days. They are confined to the alley that can hold up to 46 inmates and they will have a bathroom with 4 private toilets, 4 sinks, and 4 private showers. This quarantine area looks eerily like a walk-in freezer. A wall of plastic has been constructed with air curtains for the door. There is a red line of tape on the floor that is not to be crossed. They will not have access to the computers and only one phone call a week. Then they GO HOME!.

Some are leaving years ahead of their out dates and some are departing just months early, others are just on time. Either way, they are happy, and we are happy for them. Any kind of movement and people going home, boost morale around here. The lengthy sentences handed out by the federal government is unbelievable and I just pray that some of this will shed light and bring about change so prison reform will truly have a chance. Most people have no idea how many peaceful creatures are away incarcerated for decades. That is another blog though.

This evening we were told by a man from administration that there is another large list looming on the horizon. He informed us that the people on 200 alley needs to start preparing to move either Monday or Tuesday. The 200 alley will become an additional quarantine area for the next list coming down from the heavens. More people will be leaving and will have to do this weird quarantine the BOP has decided on. I live on 200 alley. Most of us have been there for quite a while. We are quiet and respectful of one another and there are a lot of us that are more like a little family. The idea of moving is unsettling, but as we walk around trying to figure out where we would move, it makes it even worse. There is nowhere for all of us to go and some will have to move over to the other building.

I am trying hard just to accept and understand this adventure, but I would be a big fat liar if I tried to sell a happy, bubbly, everything is fine line. This has become the new normal. Come Friday, the admin comes in, drops something new, and then burns out. I know this is a grey area and no one knows what to do, but this is becoming emotionally hard for man.

4/18/20 Saturday Day 18

We are now being counted more frequently. Normally on Saturday and Sunday we are counted at 10:00 am, 4:00pm, and 9:30pm. Now we are being counted at 10, 12, 2, 4, 7, and 9:30. People have begun to walk off from camps across the country. People are freaking out and campers are only held in with imaginary lines. They try to catch us slipping so the counts at 12, 2, and 7 are only approximate and will be around that time. This makes it interesting on when to take a shower. It also makes video visits a problem.

There was another list put up on the board late in the day today. There are only 7 people on it. They have not received dates, but they have begun to process their paperwork for departure.

I have seen more and more hurting people today. People are no longer hiding their tears. The stress of this mess is tremendous, and you just cannot get away from anyone to be alone and gather your thoughts.

4/19/20 Sunday Day 19

Right now, people leaving do not have the option of a halfway house. So, for those being considered to leave must have a place to go and a way to get there. Today I am hearing more and more stories about people getting the golden ticket out of here and their loved ones at home not ready for them to come back. Coming to prison made me realize how much I cherished my relationships with my loved ones, and I have made it a priority to repair and build my relationships since I have been here. I have had conversations with some people that just felt they would deal with it when they got home, thinking their out date was years away. Now they are leaving abruptly and some way before they expected to, and they are not being met with open arms and it is extremely sad.

Although this day has been quiet, we find ourselves bracing for the crazy week that lays ahead. My alley will be evacuated to accommodate for more quarantine. I have no idea where I am going or when it will take place. I just must be ready and trust the people moving me because I will be at work.

Emotions are high and you can just feel the envy that some have for the ones leaving. Some of my friends about to go to quarantine are a bit concerned for how people are treating them. I must say that I feel the people leaving have been extremely humble and mindful of those not leaving. It is everyone else that cannot seem to shut up about it.

4/20/20 Monday Day 20

Today is by far the worst day yet. Three officers from administration stormed the building and called in seven of

the people from our unit that were on the list to leave in 14 days and were heading into quarantine tomorrow. They had already been fingerprinted, their home plan had been approved by their probation officer, and they were given dates to leave. They were counting on this date and so were their family and had finally let themselves believe it was happening. The seven went in as a group and were told that they weren’t going anywhere, and the BOP had changed their minds. Then the officers went and pulled people out of the quarantine area and told them to unpack their things, they were no longer going home. The wave of emotion when those ladies were told was unbelievable, and I have no words. I will never forget it. This was horrible. Women were wailing and crying inconsolably. There wasn’t a single lady in here not effected and distraught and almost everyone was crying. Being an inmate, we cannot help but identify with each other and feel each other’s pain.

My friend was told just last week that she was going home. She had received that coveted golden ticket and she

was so happy. She is just shy of serving her 50% of time but had been told that the percentage of time did not matter because she was a minimum. She would not let herself believe it and would not tell her children, but her mind was being set at ease as things seemed to fall into place. Her PO had been to her home and approved of her home and her home confinement, she did her fingerprint, and she was going into quarantine tomorrow. She had waited until late this afternoon to call and give the news to her 11 year old daughter. She really did not want to tell her yet but going into a 14 day quarantine and not being able to contact her daughter, she had decided she had to let her know what was going on. Her little girl was over the moon with excitement. Then came the bad news, I will never forget how I felt to watch them break this amazing woman and her spirit. I tear up just thinking about this moment.

Man, they finally had me going. I was so skeptical but with our alley packed up and ready to move, I was really starting to believe this was happening, I thought I was going to be proved wrong. First there was the first step act failure and now the disappointing corona debacle…

The silver lining of my day was having two video visits with my loved ones. It made my day and eased my pain and I was grateful and thankful once again. Then I just happened to look out the window to see the most spectacular double rainbow I have ever seen. Ok God, I see you.

4/21/20 Tuesday Day 21

After the construction on the building across the parking lot and the 100 alley becoming a quarantine area, all the

moves, and the 200 alley already to move to quarantine, the administration changed their minds. The quarantine is over. What??? So, all the people that were in the building across the parking lot are back in the building and the 100 alley quarantine folks are out and about. Apparently, they can come out, but no one can go in. I don’t’ get it. People that have not had their dates taken will still be leaving, we think.

The people that were housed across the street have horror stories to tell about their living situation while in quarantine. That building was meant to be classrooms and has never been heated or cooled well. I know in the wintertime when I have classes out there, I wear my coveralls from work because it is so cold in there. They did not do anything to improve the hvac and the 9 ladies that stayed out there froze at night and was hot during the day. The bathroom was originally a 2 stall bathroom and they took one of the stalls to make a shower. The shower only had hot water for 2 minutes at a time and then they would have to turn it off and let it warm up and go again. These 9 ladies were out there for almost 2 weeks. Now they are back. Some of their dates have already passed and they are still here. While the BOP was supposed to be thinning this place out, they have drug their feet and managed to keep people longer than was expected.

Now new people are on the way and they will suffer through a 14 day quarantine in that same building that was never meant to be housing, before coming in. We are just cash cows sitting here in our pasture. Moo!

In conclusion, we are living in the grip of emotion every single day. Everyday something happens that affects our welfare and well-being. We understand that big changes are inevitable, and I must keep reminding myself that there are no rules, guidelines, or procedures for this giant grey area that no one seems to be navigating. It feels like a sick experiment and it is exhausting. Even people that are not affected by these changes are moved by what these ladies are going through and on top of that we cannot help but worry about the potential threat of the corona hitting this place. Stay tuned