If you have a loved one incarcerated, encourage them to take off their mask and go learn to play again
Prison is generally associated with isolation and loneliness, but it doesn’t have to be. When you have lost everything, including your freedom, you can still choose your thoughts, and more importantly your attitude. With the right attitude, if you choose, you can find joy anywhere. Coming to prison, I have found that games and sports are a great way to break your focus, so you have a chance to notice your journey and learn to enjoy that process. Games can also promote community and combat loneliness. Believe it or not, incarceration is a great place to test the waters and see what you are good at. It’s also a place to try things you may secretly have always wanted to try. This is not the time to sit and obsess about your mistakes, instead, revisit your desires, passions, and think about the things that bring you joy. Relish in the silly challenges and don’t trip about inadequacies, we all have them. So, if you have a loved one incarcerated, encourage them to take off their mask and go learn to play again. If you are on your way to prison, open up your mind to new possibilities and get ready to dip your toe in the water.
Before coming to prison, if you asked me what game first comes to mind when I think of inmates, my brain would immediately have an image of people playing chess. Well actually, I think of men in prison playing chess, and even more specifically, Shawshank Redemption. What I see is men sitting around playing chess, and maybe some card playing. I always associated spades with prison as well. Of course, before I got here all I had to go on was TV, movies, and a few friends with older siblings that had been locked up.
Now that I am in prison and writing this blog about games people play in prison, I try to think if I have ever seen anyone play chess in here, and I can’t. I rarely spend any time in the unit, so I realized I’m not the one to ask about this. I hadn’t even seen the game itself. So, I decided to go and search for a chess board. I found one in the TV room I never go in, but if anyone had ever used it, they must have treated it like something from a museum. It looked brand new in the box, with instructions. I used to love the game, maybe one day I will play again.
When I went searching for the chess board, I decided to learn all about the game options around this place. I found out there is a bookcase full of games in each of the housing units. From board games to brain games, there is so much to keep us busy as well as the typical card games like spades, canasta, rummy, etc. Lately, there are a lot more people getting together to play in the different rooms in the unit. We got some new games and it’s great to see groups of people laughing and having fun and trying out new things. Some ladies sit around playing cards for hours and I love to see them do this. It reminds me of my Grandma that loved to play cards.
Two of my friends sit next to me night after night as I write. If they aren’t being crafty, they are playing cards. These are two of my favorite people and watching them play cards never gets old. They fuss at each other, talking about how the other is cheating, it’s great! While they have a game to play, they are never alone. If they have sadness, anxiety, or fear, it disappears as they play. Their energy is always light and comforting to be around.
Leisure recreation has other games to check out like washers, baggo, racket ball, pickle ball, etc. There was a group of ladies that I shared the travel experience and arrived with. From the time we arrived, until the end of summer, we would get together on Saturday nights to play pickle ball. It was so much fun, and it kept us bonded. We laughed so hard and always had a really good time. They are all gone now. So, we started a pickle ball league. We currently have the first league going and every Saturday night at 5 pm the teams that are scheduled play their game. Soon we will be having the championships and it has been such a big hit we will probably keep it going and when it gets warm move outside. I’m excited for it. We also have pool tables in the gym, and we are currently waiting on new dart boards and both of those games will probably be the next leagues to form. Slowly but surely, we are building the activity around this place.
When I first got here the compound favorite was, bingo. Oh my, it really was a big deal and it would bring a lot of people out for a lot of fun. There are some bingo games that are sponsored by recreation and they supply the prizes for those games. Then there are the bingo games put on by the inmates and that is where people come out of the woodwork. You would have to sign up in advance and pay with commissary items. I tried hard to get into this big Saturday night event. My friends were in also, so we would run like lunatics up to the visiting room where it was held, directly after the 4 pm count We would skip dinner just to make sure we got the good tables and stand guard just to make sure our group would have plenty of room to play a ridiculous amount of cards and we wanted the first pick of the cards.
I always joke about this being a nursing home, and these Saturday night bingo sessions sealed the deal in my head. If you can picture the crazy people at the bingo halls with little good luck charms, funny hats, and peculiar rituals for luck, then you have a pretty good idea what this looked like. On average there are 270 people on this compound and one night I counted 120 people gathered in the room to play.
My friends and I decided to go all in with the crazy bingo behavior. We decided to get bingo buddies made to bring with us for good luck. I had a miniature donkey as a pet at home. Yep that is right, his name is Godfrey, and he is awesome. He is a grey and white little cutie, so I knew I needed a mini version of him for luck, so I had one crocheted. I have some talented friends around here and so I told one what I wanted, and she made it happen. It’s the cutest little crocheted grey and white donkey you could possibly imagine, and she even made him a sombrero that could be changed out if I wanted. Then everyone wanted a crotched pet and people were going crazy to get one made. One of my friends had Kyle the chicken that looked like it was someone’s first try or maybe a blind person made it. Kyle was a big mess with miss matched yarn and disproportionate, you really had to inspect to see it was a chicken, but he was beloved anyway. One friend had an elephant, another had a cat, and I think there was even a penguin.
The more we lost, the more people grew angry at their bingo buddy and they ended up with me. Before the night was over, I had a herd of them. I didn’t win at bingo, but I ended up with all the little buddies. It was fun while it lasted but I just can’t sit that long and I could care less about a random bag of commissary. Since this is a camp and its pretty much a revolving door of people coming and going, the bingo craze left along with the people that had a passion to put it on. Some people still get together and play but not like when I first got here.
We have two ladies that work at recreation and their jobs are to coordinate holiday events, organizing games, and one is a commissioner for the sports and leagues. They have done a great job of making things happen and organizing a lot of things that have brought so much joy. Having fun and connecting with others is so important and holidays can be a really sad time. The loneliness can really set in and that is why recreation puts on events and games for every federal holiday. For example, this past Christmas, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as well as the proceeding weekend was full of games and prizes every single day. There was always something going on, and that is the way it is here for the holidays. We stay busy and keep it fun. We also pop popcorn for the entire compound and in the summer, we make snow cones for our little community.
In October we started our fall volleyball league. It is now March and we are on our second season in a row. We have so many people that want to play and new people coming in that are interested in joining in, that we can keep going, so we do. I play in the finals tonight and I’m already pushing to start again. I want to keep it going until we can move outside and play in the sand. Its way harder out there but I figure if we keep people in shape and keep them moving it can’t hurt a thing.
I played volleyball in high school and loved it. Then when my daughter was old enough, we started playing around with a ball. For hours we would practice serving to each other and she got good and became a beast with her overhand serves. We would use the roof of the house to practice setting and bumping and when it was nice out, we didn’t come inside until the sun went down. So, when I found out we had a net and a league was going to form, I was ecstatic. My daughter is always on my mind, but when I play volleyball it’s like she is here with me. I’m pretty sure that provides a little emotional attachment to the sport and I’m grateful to have some cool ladies to play with here. There are a lot of people that haven’t played for decades or have never played at all and some young ones in their early 20’s that aren’t so rusty. Some ladies are really good, and some are not. We play from 6 to 8 every Saturday night and it’s a highlight of my week. We pick teams and play in brackets until there is a winner and recreation will supply some prizes for that team.
It is so amazing to watch these ladies continue to improve and to watch the camaraderie. I find myself cheering for the other teams I am playing sometimes. I’m just so impressed with how far so many have come. If someone doesn’t show up for a team, someone else is happy to jump in and play, because most of us just want to play. Some of the ladies that were terrified of the ball but deep down really wanted to hit that thing are now diving for balls and spiking. Some of us get together and practice and teach others to improve their abilities and as I type this, I think a volleyball clinic might just have to happen… That’s a real cool part about this facility, if someone dreams it up and pushes to make it happen, it does. Stay tuned, this feels like another blog.
I have never played a game of soccer. I secretly wish I was a soccer player, like a good one. I used to watch my daughter and think how cool she was. I remember being so impressed by what a beast she was with that ball and had no fear. I really want to be like that, so I decided to try and get a soccer conditioning class together in hopes of finding some players and playing some games this fall. When you throw away your insecurity and reinvent yourself the opportunities are endless. I have been practicing the conditioning myself since I plan to teach it, and I have a whole new respect for soccer players.
My crazy little group of friends will go through a season when we have birthday parties every month and sometimes every other week, but when there is a gap, we throw a birthday party for no one. We refer to this as “It’s not a birthday party, birthday party.” We play the normal birthday party games like Pictionary, Taboo, Gestures, etc., and we laugh for hours. The best part is we are completely sober and there are a lot of us that are learning to have fun again sober, so this kind of fun is a big deal and serves a few purposes.
In conclusion, there are too many people trying to so hard to be a big deal. You see there are a lot of inmates that think they need to look like gangsters to be strong and powerful. They are afraid to break out of that serious mode. All I see is someone with a mask, one that is full of fear, guilt, and shame. I see weakness and even worse, sadness. Attitudes are infectious and the more people we have playing games, being silly and having fun, the better. I see more and more people joining in and having fun and it makes me smile. I believe sitting around battling the demons from your past is a horrible waste of time and a horrible way to do time. So, if you have a loved one incarcerated, don’t let them sit around being bored out of their skull, encourage them to play and learn to have fun again. It will help them to feel better about their tiny world and everyone deserves laughter.
Encourage them to break out of their mold and go play.
