COVID-19 In a Federal Prison Part 2
This is not the end of the world. It is just another intermission of life and a wind of change to strengthen us all. This is where the strong not only survive but their courage becomes a life preserver to the people around them, and lately, that has been a little tough. The truth is this is a scary and stressful time to be in prison. I know in my lifetime I have never experienced anything like this pandemic. Never have I known a time when the entire world went on house arrest. I have nothing to compare it to and not being on the streets to see for myself, it’s hard to comprehend what is going on. As inmates, we don’t see outside our prison camp. We have the news to watch and reports from family and friends to gather our information. The problem is when our brains start filling in the gaps and when fear creeps in, it’s hard to see clearly. We worry about our families at home and their well-being. The guilt from our situation along with so many ladies having young children stuck at home because they are not in school and not being able to care for them is just heartbreaking. So many of us would have been long gone if we had a state sentence, or if the feds offered parole, but here we sit, in a pasture in Illinois without a fence, twiddling our thumbs and wondering if we are sitting ducks if the virus hits our camp. If you have a loved one incarcerated, be patient, be loving and do your best to be upbeat, this is a tough time. Here is an update of what is going on here as of March 28, 2020.
While willful blindness landed so many people here, they apparently no longer can avert their eyes, and day by day they panic just a little more than the day before. I found myself becoming angry with the people that are gathered around the TV all day long like it is their job. Standing next to the computers constantly checking email and staring at the TV for updates while waiting to get back on the computer. Every time the TV gave an update, they were yelling about it and running to another room to share their news of mostly more deaths. The prison news casters around here came out of the woodwork for the coronavirus and it drives me insane. Then I realized, they were too terrified to look away. That was how fear had driven them to react. It may not be the way I react, and that is ok. That notion allowed me to find compassion instead of anger. In all honesty, it has become harder and harder to stay positive and keep it together with so much fear and panic surrounding me. I must constantly remain mindful to stay out of conversations all around me and I must remove myself and choose wisely when to engage.
I stay out of the TV rooms most of the time but I do dip in to catch the news so I can hear things with my own ears and not have to listen to someone else’s version. After watching people watch the news and paying attention to their reactions, it is clear most people aren’t looking for positive stories. The stories of the coronavirus only having minimal effects on people, will barely get a reaction and no one seems to discuss it, EVER. Then the next story is about some astronomical number of deaths in a foreign country and the crowd goes wild. I have learned that the bad stories are the only ones some people take away. I saw a quick blurb on statistics comparing the coronavirus to other flu and virus deaths which seemed to put the coronavirus to shame and it brought me some comfort, but when I looked around and it was like no one else saw it. I even pointed it out and no one could talk about it because they hadn’t paid attention and of course I have no way to rewind or Google it up.
When you are looking for something, you will surely find it and these people are hooked on the notion of this crisis and have become obsessed with seeking out the most horrible stories. When people start to feel like they are in survivor mode, negative emotions can be rather seductive. Unfortunately, during these times people like to lie and make things up and feed those negative emotions. With fear at an all-time high, this is not when you play games and if you truly don’t know something, don’t say it. It is a full-time job to separate the spun-out stories from the intentional lies.
I normally walk around with ear plugs or headphones to avoid hearing people, but the other day I didn’t, and I overheard some banter while I was emailing my family. It was quite a crazy conversation and some of the people involved were just there to promote more fear and panic. It seems a lot of those folks have emerged lately. I just wanted off the carousel, but I had to intervene. So, I did it, I hijacked the conversation and stopped the nonsense and stood up and delivered a speech of hope. I explained that I am the inventory person for the food services warehouse, and I assured them that there was more than enough food with more coming in every day. Someone quickly tried to inform me that trucks weren’t running, and I gently explained that wasn’t true and we had two trucks deliver that very day. I explained that they have the truck drivers stopping before they get to the dock to take their temperatures, but the trucks would still be coming. And yes, I personally witnessed an entire semi-truck full of toilet paper be unloaded in the warehouse and there was NOT a shortage and NO you don’t need to hoard it. I was shocked that no one bothered to argue, but they didn’t, so I dropped the mic and walked out and quickly found my ear plugs.
As I remain here in this federal prison camp with my makeshift family I inherited from the BOP, I realize we are in a good spot, for now. We are healthy, so far, and we are somewhat quarantined. While the rest of the world is isolating and social distancing, we are stacked in extremely close quarters and I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t somewhat concerned. There have been precautions taken but I find myself questioning how safe we really are.
After we were told the BOP wasn’t moving anyone for 30 days, the FCI next door received a bus load of guys and the camp got some new campers on a van this week. They have been put in a quarantine for 14 days. The quarantine area was just created last week and is only set up to hold 6 people. Just like the rest of the world, it is clear that no one knows how to handle anything like this. Some of us watched as the staff got the new inmates off the bus and took temperatures and we were not comforted in the way they were checked out. The nurse did not have gloves at first and the poor guard that had to drive them on the trip had no protection whatsoever. I am not an expert, but I just am struggling to see why anyone new MUST come right now. The people coming here aren’t mass murderers, they are fellow campers, why not wait a bit?
It is well known that the federal prison camps have almost nonexistent medical care and barely any medical staff on the premises. We have what they refer to as “sick call” only a few days a week first thing in the morning and if anything was to happen outside of that tiny time slot, you wait. If someone were to get sick, there is a real good chance they would get sent back to the dorms and told to take allergy pills and drink water. If the corona virus spreads like they say, we would be in trouble. We all presume we won’t get treated like people on the outside.
Since I have been in a federal prison camp, I have found that there are people thinking they are leaving any day for one reason or another. It took me awhile to realize that wishful thinking helps people get through their days. With this mentality, anytime anything happens they are packing their bags. The corona virus is no different. There was a petition to free federal campers at www.federalcampers.com. Yes, I sent it to my people, and yes, I know you can start a petition for anything. But locked in here, it feels good to get a petition to let your people go make it as a report on CNN.
In conclusion, if you have a loved one incarcerated, please be patient with them and redirect them to positive thinking. Being in here and bombarded with negativity can really wear on you. It is a very difficult time. I can’t imagine how people at higher security facilities feel. The possibility of lengthy lockdowns is looming on the horizon and not knowing the endgame of this virus has people on edge. I encourage anyone that has a loved one locked up to send letters and books for encouragement and tell them to hang in there.
